It's 10:48pm on a Friday night. I'm finally settling down to write.

My husband has been out of town this week. He's coming home tomorrow. He went to visit his parents on the family farm. Two of his uncles joined him there to help his dad work on a barn project. He’s worked each day from “can to cain’t”, as he says. So, except for a quick conversation here and there during the week, we really haven’t talked much. That’s okay. He needed to be there.

We’ve been married almost fifteen years. It’s hard to believe. Do you feel that way about your marriage? Does it seem like its lasted forever but then how can it even be real that you’ve been together for so long??

We have three spectacular boys. They are smart, handsome (if I do say so myself), funny, great at sports. A little whiny and complain-y at times, but so far it’s been manageable. They’re all in elementary school, so hormones haven’t attacked our home yet. I sense it, though. Change is coming. But for now, they are exhaustingly awesome and I am often overwhelmed at the gift of their lives.

My husband and I are both pastors. In fact, we co-pastor the church we currently serve. I have so many thoughts and stories about the Church. Oh how I love her and yet how (some of) her people stick in my craw.

So that’s me. I’m Dana. I’m a wife, a mom, a pastor. For the last year or so, an urgent desire to write has been stirring in my bones. At times, it is palpable and I have to grab my laptop pretty quick or I will be distracted from all the other things until I can write. Most of the time, though, I’m composing phrases in my head. Sometimes it is dialogue. I wonder if I have a novel inside me. Or a memoir. Or something fiction-adjace*. But perhaps I have in me a book of essays about the Church, about spirituality, faith, God.

I don’t know what it will end up being. But I know that if I don’t start writing stuff down and putting it out there, I’ll never write the thing down. Thus, the birth of this blog. It is simply a space to hold me accountable. Daily I think, “I should write my first post. I really need to get on that. I have so many things I want to put out there.” Most days, I just dream about it, but don’t actually do it. I want to be a blogger already; and skip over the part of becoming a blogger. Hmmm. There's more to process there.

I’ve looked at several articles that give the blow-by-blow of how to start a blog. Most of them tell you to start off by telling your readers who you are (check). Be transparent, they say, so your readers will trust you. Okay. Next, tell them why you’re blogging. Check. I’m blogging so that I will hold space for myself to write. Next, consider what’s in it for your reader. Maybe you’ll see some of yourself in me? Maybe through my sharing stories of how awesome-hard momhood is, you’ll see that it’s similar for you. Maybe you didn’t know that it’s awesome-hard for all of us. Did you think it was just you? I get it. I thought that for a long time too. Something had to be wrong with me, because I looked around and saw every other mom doing it (seemingly) right. Spoiler alert: they were just trying to get through their days too. So perhaps I can offer you some solidarity. Maybe in this space you’ll connect a little deeper with God; maybe you’ll pause and consider your faith life a little more. Maybe you’ll be encouraged to do the thing you so desperately want to do. (Yes, do it!) Maybe you’ll find a listening ear, an encouraging word, a friend.

One of my dearests shared this link with me earlier today. Aside from the obvious, that the author has the same name as me AND is raising three boys, there are so many similarities between what her experience is and what I find mine to be. The picture of me is no joke. That’s me on a regular day either coming or going. And yes, I stopped to snap a picture and

send to said dearest because it is utterly ridiculous that I have this. much. stuff. to carry around. (It could also be that I’m pretty stubborn and REFUSE to make more than one trip from the car to the house.) But there it is. Do you feel like a pack mule sometimes also, Mama?

Ultimately, I want to fill this space with stories, essays, prayers even. Comments and observations. I’d love to hear from you about the things I write that resonate with you. Feel free to drop a line in the comments. All are welcome here. Unless you’re a troll. I’m a 9 on the Enneagram and I just don’t have the bandwidth for any more conflict or division than what we’re already experiencing in the world today. Otherwise, I’d love to hear from you and begin to develop some community around here.

One day, this little side hobby might turn into something profitable. I would really love to publish a book about ______________ (I can’t wait to find out!) But I’ll never attempt to sell you anything here. I’m a terrible salesperson. Ask my department manager from Yeilding’s, circa 1986. Oh, so many stories.

Thanks for stopping by. Be kind to yourself. Love others. Always drink the glass.**

"Adjace" is a new favorite word for me. I've picked it up from listening to The Popcast with Knox and Jamie. I highly recommend this podcast if you like celebrity culture even a little bit, but especially if you love to laugh. Everybody at the Popcast Media Group is top notch.

**Unless alcohol is something you struggle with. Then don’t drink the glass. Do whatever it is you do to treat yourself in these days. You got this!